“No matter how hard you work on the wrong thing,
it makes no difference.”
Have you ever heard yourself saying things like…
If only my spouse would stop nagging, I would be happier…
If there wasn’t so much traffic, I would be more relaxed…
If my boss wasn’t critical, I could be more excited about my job…
If my co-worker Helen would just stop complaining, I would love coming to work …
If so, then you are stuck and trapped. You think, “If he she or it would just change, then I’ll be happy, relaxed, etc.”
You are putting your happiness in the hands of your spouse…
You are letting an innate thing like traffic determine your state of mind…
You are allowing your boss to decide your experience of your job…
You are handing your daily work enjoyment over to Helen…
You are giving away your power…the power to determine your own experience. By so doing, you abdicate your ability to choose and you let others choose for you.
Let me ask you this…
If you were truly happy, would it matter that your spouse nagged?
If you were totally relaxed, would you be upset at traffic?
If you were excited about your job would you care if your boss was critical?
If you truly loved your work on a daily basis, would it matter that Helen complained?
Of course not! Why? Because the problem is not your spouse, the traffic, your boss or Helen. The problem is your experience of all of those things and that’s work you need to do on yourself. Your experience is your responsibility. Interpret the situation differently. See the benefits. Identify the positives. Perhaps these are opportunities to learn patience and compassion, or how to draw boundries and make requests! Ask yourself, "What would I have to do to be happier with my spouse, relax in traffic, be excited about my job, and love coming to work?" Maybe therein lies your learning opportunity - a gift in hiding! Change your attitude and it won’t matter that they are the way they are.
“No matter how hard you work on the wrong thing, it makes no difference.”
So stop blaming outside circumstances and others for the way you feel. Be happy, relaxed, excited about your job and love your work. The rest of the world will do whatever it does.
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